Thursday, March 15, 2012

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It may have just started with a small talk about A that B shared to C which was overheard by D who asked E about how true was it. E whose curiosity was aroused then inquired from F about the whole thing until what was supposedly an insignificant issue was blown out of proportion until everybody in the Alphabet Village has his/her own version of it. When A heard of the talks about him and began to confront everyone, nobody dared admit to be the source. Then it came to the point that the peaceful town has turned into a battlefield of rumors, gossips and intrigues.

Gossip Defined:


Wikipedia defines gossip as idle talk or rumor about the personal or private affairs of others. Sometimes it starts when someone who thinks that sharing a bit of information about another person's personal life is totally harmless. Unfortunately some small issues turn into a full blown scandal when the concerned people begin to react accordingly. 

Why Do People Gossip?


Maritza Manreza of factoidz wrote: "There are many reasons why people feel compelled to gossip, therefore, humiliating and putting others down. Sometimes people do it out of spite, just because they can. Other times, people gossip because they feel they will benefit from its end result, such as possible looking better in front of the boss in a working situation." Some people feel superior above others when they think they get hold of this valuable (at least for these gossip mongers) information and are just waiting to be triggered to drop the bomb. It's as if they have this power in them - the power of malicious information. Two of the most common reasons why people gossip are inferiority and jealousy. People start spreading rumors about a person because they feel insecure and jealous and when they think they have already painted an ugly picture out of this person, they feel they are better than him/her. 

"Gossips cause the victims to feel bad and lose self-confidence about themselves. They enhance division and never will it promote camaraderie. Gossips destroy organization, friendships, and family relationships. They break trust and credibility."

Gossip: Good or Bad?

I'd like to quote factoids again: "All gossip is bad, even the casual gossip about not so important issues." More so, when people spread gossip with malice (which more often than not most people don't admit). Gossips cause the victims to feel bad and lose self-confidence about themselves. They enhance division and never will it promote camaraderie. Gossips destroy organization, friendships, and family relationships. They break trust and credibility. 

How To Deal with Gossipers: 

In his site 2knowmyself M.Farouk RadwanMSc wrote three effective suggestions in dealing these kind of people and I'd like to share the first two here.

  • Let him burn: This is one of my favorite strategies, if someone is gossiping about me because of jealousy I just keep sending him good news about me to keep him burning with his own fire.
  • Confront him: If the gossiper is causing damage to your reputation and if you don't expect him to stop soon then call him when you are calm. Tell him that you are aware of his doings and that only those who are scared to face one another directly gossip. Most people will apologize and remember your call the next time they decide to gossip about you.
If I may add:
  • Ignore him: Let the gossiper know that he isn't worthy of your time and efforts. If he does that to gain friends and followers, let him be. In the end, people will know the truth and his true colors will be revealed. Sometimes, only those whose with itchy tongues like him listen to his nasty rumors.
Why this Article?

Because I need to remind myself that talking about other people's lives will not do anything good to me. Because I need to remind myself that if I don't have anything good to say about other people, I better keep my mouth shut. 

26 comments:

  1. plus refraining from gossiping other people is is good for mental health :-)

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  2. does the letter G exist for the choice "none of the above" because as you come across with more and more letters / gossipers, you can't foretell anymore as to who is telling the truth. so? encircle letter G, perfect answer!

    ~germeline

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  3. Gossiping will put you in trouble especially if it destroys the reputation of others..

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  4. Great post! BEST to just mind our own business! - ALWAYS! :)

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  5. im not making an excuse.. pero Lahat naman has indulged in this maski mali, masakit lang if the gossip is about you, pero if not tongues are always wagging.

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  6. "the casual gossip about not so important issues." is indeed true!! most people who got nothings to do make it so special that they have to say it to other people whom is not either interested or just to say something and feel good about themselves! xx

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  7. i usually ignore those people, i'm better off blogging than use my time gossiping...pero syempre with close friends I can't help talking about others that pissed me off...

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  8. i have no time for gossips even showbiz news. "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."

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  9. They are just certified INSECURE. I always do the "LET HIM BURN" tip cos I always want to have a laugh over their reactions then ignore them as much as I can before I confront the person. Hobby na yan ng pinoy, cgru mawala na ang lahat hindi lang ang tsismis. Shame but thats reality.

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  10. I'm happy I'm not that guilty with this. I just don't see any good in gossiping. Also, I don't want others to do that to me :)

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  11. nooo i hate gossips! thanks for the tips on how to ignore them ;)

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  12. Just like what my friend posted as her FB stat, part of it is: My name is Gossip. I have no respect for justice. I aim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives.

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  13. I've been a victim of gossip myself because of that experience, I refrain as much as possible from being involved in small talk that turn into discussion of other people.

    As you wrote, first it's harmless but from observation, those harmless talks could leave lasting impression. We all are challenge in our daily lives to remember so many details, and I've observed people can have difficulty remembering such small talks as just that idle talk, and not the truth.

    I always recall this quote (I'm not sure who is the source at the moment) when oh so tempted to share idle talk:

    Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.

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  14. yes that's a very good rule to follow "if you have nothing good to say about other people just keep your mouth shut". i have to remind myself of that too - so i have a MORMONAD pasted in my wall that shows MUD and the phrase GOSSIP don't pass it on! Talking about other other people is just like the mud that makes your hand dirty when you pass it on!

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  15. Not all gossip are bad, but admit it we all entertain by it

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  16. Ugh. Some people just LOVE to gossip and thrive in saying bad things about others behind their backs. Mostly, these people are passive aggressive and really don't have the guts to confront others so they take the cowardly route. Me i just ignore. The people who matter know me well enough not to believe in random gossips :)

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  17. this is a wonderful post. sometimes we forget, sometime we think too highly of ourselves and this pushes us to think low of others and start talking about them. it's best to just exert our energies and turn our attention on something else.

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  18. I love the "let him burn" and that's what exactly I am doing. I have one hater. Actually, he was a pathetic suitor from ages ago. He can't move on and kept on fabricating stories about me and my friends. I should have ignored him a long time ago. But I realized that "let him burn" is the best way to counter him :)

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  19. I'd rather spend a day-time blogging and thinking of how else to earn online than talk about other people's lives.

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  20. people who usually gossips are those insecure ones.. ;|

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  21. ang you're so right! gossip won't do anything good to both parties involved.. and yeah, we oftentimes unconsciously commit this sin so better keep ourselves on-guard at all times .:)

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  22. i hate gossips. but the more i hate it, the more people gossip about me. so i just let it be. they can die of envy for all i care...;)

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  23. I really hate gossips especially if it is not true.

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  24. I learned to brush 'em off. They shouldn't matter, especially when its not true.

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